Seen. But no Reply??
"Even though there is a lot of anxiety related to texting in general, a non-responsive friend might even trigger emotions of self-doubt, uncontrolled retrospection to dig out reasons for being ignored, anxiety and feelings of rejection. If the pattern repeats over and over, these emotions might bottle up and cause devastating effects on a relationship as well as on the person who’s expecting a response."
We all have that one friend (or more than one) who, no matter the number of pings, the calls or the e-mails, doesn’t care to reply. They are there for us, definitely, but just not when they are not around us. Somehow the act of replying to their friends (even after days, keeping a margin of safety here!) seems illusive and unimportant. And when they do get back, it’s not with reply of a text/call from ten days ago. Instead, it’s something afresh. It’s like they have a memory lapse, but can also feel like a technology lapse.
If you can’t find this person amongst your friends, then congrats! Either you are very lucky or you’re the one we are talking about. But chances are, we all have been at both places. It’s the relative importance of the person on the other end that defines how we react, keeping in mind that a “friend” can always get some reaction.
Even though there is a lot of anxiety related to texting in general, a non-responsive friend might even trigger emotions of self-doubt, uncontrolled retrospection to dig out reasons for being ignored, anxiety and feelings of rejection. If the pattern repeats over and over, these emotions might bottle up and cause devastating effects on a relationship as well as on the person who’s expecting a response.
But what makes a friend to ignore you? There can be quite a few reasons
Your friend is going through something Maybe he/she experienced a traumatic incident, is taking a life altering decision and is not in a position to respond to you. Though such events are rare, but also considering the sensitivity of your friend towards negative emotions (when such events can be very common) - it makes sense to give them space. You might never get a response, but you should definitely call them up some days after, to ensure everything’s OK.
Your friend is too busy It happens to all of us - days when we work 13 hours and the moment we take out our phones the notification panel is full. Pings may not be a priority, though some would just glance through the texts, but unable to make up their mind for a reply after the day’s exhaustion. Though as a friend, this may seem unfair (and indeed is), catching up with this person on weekends or on holidays or a simple call would actually help. Such acts of innocent ignorance have happened to almost all of us!
Your friend is drunk or high Though this might seem a lame excuse, chances are he/she read your texts and saw your calls in an abbreviated state and forgot about it. And since they forgot about a text they read, they are not going to know there’s an “unread” message! Cut them some slack, but a generally people sober up soon (unless you have a Kabir Singh in your life).
Your friend is just not the texting type This one’s not an excuse, and mostly we know who this friend is. There’s a lot of us who find texting vague, emotionless and physically (for their dear fingers) demanding. For a lot of people, calling up someone is the ultimate last resort (probably when it’s a life-or-death situation) for communicating. But even though this is quite understandable, he/she should call you back, or at least type an acknowledging word instead of a long-drawn reply. If you’re not worth a 5-calorie text, they aren’t your friends.
Your friend is just not that into you He/she would love going out and hanging out with you while you’re around, but not when you’re not around. They are plain selfish. These friends have already learned that they are happiest in the present worth people physically surrounding them (which is very good for them), but by doing so they consciously let go of people who are not in their immediate surroundings, and you are the latter one. Dear friend, that’s not how friendships work. You’re better off without this person.
Summing up, I would ask us all to cut ourselves or the other person some slack. Nothing about this non responsive friend is worth mulling over.
I'm Bhavini. Welcome to my blog!
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It is a mere break from office, or from studies or just a way to pass time while standing in a queue
It is the dopamine rush to be able to meet new people.
It is the excitement, which one awaits for the weekend.
It is the comfort of knowing people like you.
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It’s not anyone’s fault and no one is to blame.